Alone

I was always lonely,
Although I lived in a boy’s hostel,
I had a girlfriend

But I was quite lonely
In those nights,
With a room full of 14 boys
Or 15 i can't remember
Filled with ganja smoke
And dripping whiskey

Grooving to pink floyd
I was quite alone,
The morning rather to dadar station
The train was khacha khach

And the flower sellers on the roads
I think it was a tuesday
God’s day

I felt delhi would solve this problem
I knew people here
They spoke like me

It was lonely,
In those blurry dingy bars
Late night cab rides

Selfish hookups
Filled to the brim ashtray
Salary pings

Nothing could drive away
The emptiness
The paintings came
So does the non rhyming poems

There were video calls
With families
With friends

Someone even got a cat
It usually lived by my bed
He was quite lonely
Although i think he enjoyed it

Dizziness kept pouring
Sometimes rum, sometimes cocaine
There were dreams
Nightmares and lucid

Birds were larger than roofs
And monuments were lively
Some played sitar
Some played drums

Walking through the empty lanes
Ferocious dogs
And worn out pigeons

There were apps that said they were social
Governments changed to worse
world was at war

Thousands died
But the party in the town never stopped

Cheap cigarettes
And desi wines

Amongst these pale walls
With old trees
And white wires

Wooden tables
Sable hair brushes
And all those half drawn papers

I was still alone.