Bored

You know those people

who stick things on notes

make lists

thats me now, me this artist

so called artist

don’t even know when was he last time I was art

feel more like a blob full of rice and dal that i just gulped

with quarter of a heart invested

in this smoke of death I am filling my lungs with

looking into oblivion

looking into my phone which has zero

to be precise, zero things interesting

everything feels like in slow velocity

with time running at a speed of light

waving through like a lover saying goodbye

on the airport to maybe never return

still you hold on to feelings like love

and then people ask looking at art

what does that mean?

how would i know

if i knew i wouldn’t most probably make it

just maybe cry in front of my therapist

who would ask me to take deep breathes

have to remind humans now to breathe, drink water and soak sun

but then what is the point of going out

when every moment is a comic book panel

leading to another moment

to another moment to further saying

to be continued

thats me now, always thinking about the next thing to happen

never living in the so called moment

just complaining crying cribbing about the future

that i cannot control

past i cannot forget

and spitting the paan i just ate on my present

it is tasty though, maybe i did enjoy the moment for a moment

naah this is not a good piece

this is just a rant

like every other rant i’ve written

thinking it will make me feel better

what will make me feel better is doing my actual work

my lists

never ending lists

but i wont, i know i wont

cause i am this blob, of smoke and mints now

just waiting for life to wake me up

and kick on the face

and by that time,

time, fucking evil enemy that keeps running

and all you can do is chase it,

you might feel you made it once or twice in a life of 80 years

but time always wins

how it flows like curls of lover

like roads when it rains

like clouds are laughing

while taking a piss on humanity

eh! bored of this now

will just go back to cursing the world

easy fucking thing to do

maybe thats what life should be

easy and not a war

against time

i don’t know

i am just bored.